This morning, as I scanned through my closet, I felt drawn to wearing a long white and indigo gown, but I hesitated. Do I want to stand out? Or do I want to go unnoticed, under the radar? I would feel more comfortable blending in, I won't have to worry about spilling tea, or one of my daughters giving me a hug with chocolate or mud on their hands. Jeans and a t shirt are so easy.
"Come on", I tell myself, "go for it". I reached for the gown, feeling its softness, enjoying the texture and weight of the fabric. I held my body differently, I stood up taller, opened my heart. I could feel playfulness arise in my heart and a smile on my face. Now I want to choose an inspiring piece of jewelry to go with it. As I slipped the gown over leggings and a long sleeve shirt, I could already feel how this would set the tone for my day.
As I dropped my girls off at school, I felt radiant and powerful as I sensed the soft fabric, the beautiful colors and felt the flow of the gown as I walked. I held my body differently, I walked with more confidence, the fabric swaying side to side.
As I walked back to the car, I pondered the next part of the day. I could go straight to work on my computer or I could go to a non-linear movement practice. Instead of surrendering to the pressure of doing more, for one hour I moved with my eyes closed, surrounded by other women, allowing what wanted to be expressed to translate into movement and flow. I felt the gown swaying around me, supporting this healing and release.
After class, at the cafe, two young women smiled and complimented me on my outfit, "it's so beautiful" they said. I could tell they felt its magic. They didn't know where to place this kind of outfit. It stands out, it's timeless.
I clearly remember my attitude and relationship with clothing as a teenager. I lived in Paris and went to Catholic school. We didn't have a uniform per say but our clothes had to be a certain color. Navy blue pants and a grey, white or navy blue top. We were not supposed to have branding on any of the clothing. I remember the strict uniform that we created for ourselves. Almost all of the girls wore stretchy navy blue pants by the same brand and sweaters by two other brands. Shoes were also sourced from one of two brands. And all of these pieces of clothing were purchased with our mothers from two stores in our neighborhood. There was judgement and belonging attached to whether you wore these brands or not. It was the way to show how wealthy your family was and how "cool" you were. To this day, when I wear navy leggings or a grey or dark blue sweater, I am carried back to the memories of those formative years.
Navy Blue is associated with restrictive environment (as its name indicates with the strict expectation of being in the Navy). There are rules and constraints you have to follow. It is the color of conservatism and responsibility and although it appears to be cool, calm and collected, it is the color of repressed feelings. Dark blue can be compassionate but has trouble showing it as its emotions run deep. It is a serious color representing knowledge, power, and integrity, and is often worn in the corporate world.
This was our experience in Middle School and High School. We were taught to hold our emotions in, to follow the rules and to value knowledge and intellect above our instincts and intuition.
What we wear is a statement of who we are. The colors we chose, the pieces, the fabrics, each one a choice and a communication to ourselves and others. In the Yoga Community, there is a dress code, there are trendier brands. For Kundalini Yogis, wearing white is a spiritual practice. Wearing white expands the aura, it uplifts and expands your radiance and presence. White is actually not a color, it is a tone, which occurs when all the colors of the visible spectrum are put together. White symbolizes purity, cleanliness, harmony, simplicity, truth and neutrality. It is believed that wearing white helps us feel clear and focused on our thoughts and actions. Maybe this is why Doctors wear white. White is thought to help our bodily functions, our nervous system and our organs.
In the shamanic teachings, wearing black is believed to make the energy field unreadable to others, it is protective and grounding. Know that when you are called to wearing black or darker colors, there might be a good reason and go with it!
Tomorrow, when you chose your outfit for the day, pause. Make a bold choice, align with your essence, express what you feel called to. Let your expression be unique. By allowing you be You, everyone you meet will benefit.