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The Way of the Rose-Why Pray the Rosary?

As a folk tradition, the rosary was a way of hiding the Goddess in plain sight. The rosary as a spiritual devotion predates Christianity and has its roots in moon cycles, seed gathering, and the offering of rose garlands to the Great Mother.

A Storytelling Tradition

Inspired by the beautiful book, The Way of the Rose: The Radical Path of the Divine Feminine Hidden in the Rosary, by Clark Strand and Perdita Finn, I have found deep spiritual nourishment in the practice of the rosary.

The rosary is a story that invites us to tell our stories. From the songs of the troubadours to the unicorn tapestries, the Lady has always encouraged self-expression. In a “rosary circles” every voice is heard and valued.

An Ancient Solution to Stress

Letting go is easier with something to hold onto. That’s why “worry beads” exist in every culture. Simpler than meditation, the rosary leads bead by bead to a place of rest, renewal, and reconnection–effortlessly available to the overscheduled and overwhelmed.

The rosary alternates two prayers…the Hail Mary and the Our Father, Maters and Paters, Mothers and Fathers, Yin and Yang, Darkness and Light, the Earth (Matter) and the Sun.

There are A LOT more Hail Marys than Our Fathers and there’s a reason for this. This is the story of The Mother…of her bringing Life into the world, watching that Life destroy itself, and then rebirthing it (and herself) back into the world.

Women hid their devotion to the Great Mother in the rosary during the Middle Ages. They couldn’t worship her as before but they hid, in this circle of beads, all of the wisdom they had collected through the ages.

It is no coincidence that the medieval rosary emerged in those areas of France and Europe where the oldest goddess figurines (40,000 years old some of them) have been found. When we pray the rosary our voice joins with those ancestral mothers.

The Hail Mary itself is a three part prayer….to the Maiden (hail full of grace, the Lord is with thee), to the Mother (blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb), and the Crone (Holy Mother of God, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.)

The Hail Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee

Blessed art thou amongst women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us,

now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

The Our Father

Our Father, Who art in heaven,

hallowed be Thy name;

Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us;

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil. Amen.

The Glory Be

The Glory Be is an Honoring of the Eternal Return of Life. It is usually said at the end of every grouping of Hail Marys.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Child,

and to the Holy Mother, as it was in the beginning,

is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

A Community Garden for Growing Miracles

In the circles of prayer people have found love, healing, new work, homes, financial solutions, friendship, and a host of everyday surprises that defied their expectations. The rosary is a powerful way to reconnect with wonder and possibility. Find a circle here.

Spiritual Guidance for an Age of Climate Change

Our Lady often appears before famines, plagues, wars, and genocide. Her presence is a reminder that whatever challenges confront us, She will hold on to us and never let us go. From epoch to epoch She guided our ancestors through ice ages, super eruptions, and upheavals of all kinds. In praying the rosary, we take her by the hand and acknowledge She is in charge…not us.

All of the above is from Thewayoftherose.org

If you aren't comfortable with the traditional versions of the rosary prayers, there are some beautiful alternatives.

“Hail Mary, rose without thorns,
You were born to comfort me.
help me that I shall not be lost.”
(13th Century)

“I greet you, rose garden of heaven,
The chosen, the pure, the tender one.
You noble, sweet rose blossom,
Entreat God (Goddess) for me through your goodness.”
(14th Century)

"Hail Mary, mother of the earth, the seed of Life is within you. Blessed art thou among planets and blessed is the fruit of the womb. Holy Mary, Mother of us all, pray for us sentient beings, now and at the hour of our death."

Photo of Our Lady and sacred geometry by Ithelda, purchase her beautiful images here

Browse our goddess rosaries.

June 5th 2020, the Great Attractor

We are coming back from a spiritual near-death experience. We are touching base with new ways of perceiving and new belief systems.

"The Great Attractor is a gravitational anomaly in intergalactic space and the apparent central gravitational point of the Laniakea Supercluster. The observed anomalies suggest a localized concentration of mass thousands of times more massive than the Milky Way." Wikipedia

The Full Moon eclipse on June 5th will be at 15*34 Saggitarius at 12:12 PT.
It will be 1* apart from the Great Attractor. The Earth axis now points towards the great attractor.

The next eclipse will be a solar one, on June 20th, the day of Summer Solstice.
If you look at where these degrees fall in your chart you will know where the pull is, the power will be activated for you.

The power to control the masses and bring back old and outdated ways is being used by leaders at times like these. The progress made will seem to have been for nothing... but make no mistakes, Venus retrograde will not allow this to continue. We are realigning. Reassessing.

It is time to re-evaluate the art of evolution and our own evolution.

Venus in Gemini will show us both sides of the coin with regards to our communication: healing or poisoning words that generate hate or love, fear or faith.

Communication easily becomes a weapon to separate, isolate and discriminate, this is a crumbling castle. Do not get caught up in the ruins.

Words that heal and comfort are the way to bring in the new better days. Creating and infusing love into what we say and do, breathing in your blessings with gratitude.

The Great Attractor, some say, is the center of the Universe, some say it is the Black Hole. It is so powerful that it bends light. It attracts and orchestrates all cosmic bodies. Earth is moving towards it at 2.2 million km per hour.

This eclipse is the kick-off for the events that will change our lives in the next 18 months.

Do not engage with anger or fear. Instead, listen to their messages. Allow their energy in motion to pass through you, Notice what you are feeling and name the feeling and then connect back to yourself. "This too shall pass".

This is the time to dive into your daily practice and choose what you stand for.

If you need to know where these powerful degrees are at work in your chart drop me a line.

Love always

Shant Joti
www.shantjoti.com

shantjoti@gmail.com

One Step at a time

Just as little ones learn to walk, may we stumble and fall and tumble and sway with innocence and humor. It is part of the journey.

We offer up our prayers today that you are healthy.
Remember that we are all doing the best we can.
Each moment, each day, the best we can is really all we can do.

Let us remove pressure, even the pressure to meditate.
As Zen teacher Cheri Huber teaches:
"Don't meditate if you are going to make that one more way to beat yourself up!"
She urges us to first address the voices of self-hate, judgment and criticism so that we don't make our spiritual practice another way we compare ourselves to others, another reason we are not good enough.
It is far more beneficial to sit down to meditate from a place of compassion and self-love.

I invite you to notice where you stand in your relationship to your body and yourself.
Does it bring you joy to adorn your body? Do you look upon it kindly?
What words do you say to yourself when you think of your body?
Can you look upon your body and say: "I am healthy, I am strong, I am vibrant, I am loved".

If this practice is hard for you, I invite you to be curious and explore your relationship with your body.
The way we relate to our body and to others originates in our relationship to our mother. When we experience an early break in the bond with our mother (even if it was short), we can freeze and hold back in our movement towards our body and our relationships. We fear experiencing the pain of abandonment again and prefer to protect ourselves by holding back. We hold back in the illusion that we will be safer, that our hearts will not be broken again.
Holding back and not living fully gives us an illusory sense of safety but the cost is loneliness.
To help you identify if there was a break in the early bond or a part of your relationship with your mother that is seeking healing, I recorded a short guided meditation for healing your relationship with your mother. It is inspired by Bert Hellinger's wonderful book "Laws of Healing". Allow the full moon energies help you shed the past and dive in deep to transform wounds into medicine.

Our bodies are living, breathing miracles, they are our vehicle for this life.
Take some time tonight before you fall asleep to send an inner smile to each organ in your body, thanking your heart, your lungs, your kidneys, your brain...
Tune into the deep wisdom and peace that is within you, literally in every cell of your being.

Be well dear ones.

-Nina

Libra Full Moon, Blending Me & We

Hello StarChild, how are you doing today?

It is such a pleasure to meet here, thank you for showing up.

Allow yourself a breath (or 3!), connecting to your Body + Heart, bringing you right back here to this space and time. Allow yourself to let go of any stress or tension living inside of you, and allow yourself to be taken on an astrological journey.

The Libra Full Moon is happening on Tuesday, April 7th, at 10:35 PM EDT. I’m going to be honest here - the weight around this Full Moon is heavy, although I expect digestion + integration to be easier. Do not fear though - we are already in the thick of the transits! What I foresee is instead of being confused, things will come into Light + Vision, so that we may understand them better, and are able to move forward.

A full moon occurs when the Moon is in opposition ((180° away)) to the Sun.
The full moon can be characterized by a culmination of sorts, a peak in energies or intensity, or a necessity to shed or release something in the way of completion. We can observe the way the tides pull towards the Moon during Her fullness, swelling and gaining strength. Since we are 80% water, our emotions follow suit. Our emotional awareness + perception ((signified by the Moon)) is then drawn to Her intensity, where She reflects back the light of our vitality + will ((the Sun)). On this Libra Full Moon, we can reflect back on the wishes/intentions put out during the Aries New Moon on March 24th, as we are now seeing how far we have come in the development of those intentions.

The Sun is exalted in Aries - which allows Him to express Himself without restriction. Here he likes to trailblaze into unknown territory with vigor + courage. Aries is the sign of the Pioneer + Brave, yet is also known for impulsive + impatient action. Since Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac, it can be described much like a toddler trying to run before it can walk, or the primal human in defense and protection mode. Being ruled by Mars, Aries enjoys competition, physical movement, new ideas, cutting to the chase, and independence. Aries is often considered to be selfish, yet much like the toddler or the primal human, this is simply because the Self, the Identity, is being developed and understood through every experience it partakes in. During Aries season, our focus is on developing our own identity, becoming a trailblazer, being our own Leader, and learning what it means to Self-Serve. Take a second to note where you have been becoming your own Authority, Master of your Destiny, Protector of your Domain.

The Moon is in peregrine in Libra - meaning She is neither weak nor especially powerful. Here, She advocates for justice + equanimity for all. Libra is the sign of the Fair + Just Lover. She is the we to Aries’ me. She is the stage of the Zodiac when partners pair up together, learning how to balance self-service with self-sacrifice. Being ruled by Venus, Libra enjoys harmony, wit, peaceful interactions, connecting to others, beauty, and negotiation. Libra is often known as the harmonious and peace-keeper, yet has a tendency to become codependent & lost in the worlds of other people. Just as Aries has a tendency to be Selfish, Libra has a tendency to be Self-less. With the Moon in Libra, our emotional awareness shifts from the Self, to the Other and we cultivate compassion + understanding for keeping the harmony in the world around us. Take a second now to note where you can use yourSelf in service to the world around you, how you may desire to keep the peace within yourSelf + Others, and how you may emotionally embody Love + Beauty.

The Sun + Moon in opposition is a push/pull between Head/Heart, yet it is the ultimate chance to find balance. With the Aries/Libra axis, I find this to be balance between boundaries, blending the me + we in a way that prioritizes interdependence. How can you honor + serve your Identity, while also honoring + serving those around you? How do you find balance between total independence and codependence? How do you show up for yourself that you don’t for others? Vice versa? What would bring harmony to your Soul Mission? Do others need to be involved? What is in your way of creating peace between your emotional desire to connect and your will to pioneer independently? How can you make space for love + beauty in your pursuit of self-growth?

While contemplating these questions, let’s discuss some of the more challenging aspects to this Full Moon. The Sun + Moon are applying a square to the Jupiter/Pluto conjunction, while Mars squares Uranus. When the outer planets come out to play, this is a big, generational shift. When the Sun + Moon square them, the effects of these transits become extremely personal, and we become acutely aware of their impact to our mental + emotional selves.

Jupiter + Pluto come together every 13 years. Their last conjunction happened in December 2007 in Sagittarius. When these two come together, this is multigenerational healing, meaning this is a milestone for cultural change. Now they meet together at 24° Capricorn, for the 1st of 3 transits we will experience with them.

Jupiter is the King of Gods. He is opulence, abundance, optimism, benevolence, good luck, Higher Learning + Spirituality, justice, and laws. He naturally presides over Sagittarius, and co-rules Pisces with Neptune. Currently, He is debilitated in Capricorn. He’s having to trade luck for hard work and optimism for reality checks. He’s unable to find Himself enmeshed in many projects, instead He has to choose the ones that are most important to Himself, otherwise they won’t get the work they actually need.

Pluto is the God of the Underworld. He is death/rebirth, crisis for transformation, obsession/compulsion, buried riches, corruption/abuse, limitless power, depth, and shadow. He co-rules Scorpio with Mars and is a generational planet, meaning His orbits creates generations of people intended to do His work. He doesn’t mind being in Capricorn, however He finds himself doing deep shadow work on physical limitations, governing bodies, and pre-existing structures + traditions. The Declaration of Independence was signed when Pluto was at 27° Capricorn, thus the USA is having it’s Pluto return. Pluto is here to ask us - what did we really mean by “all men created equal?” How have you been upholding those values? Who IS running these systems?

We are observing the degradation of the systems created for us by our ancestors. We are watching as the values + structures placed on us are stripped bare of their essence. We are watching as things get darker + deeper, knowing that we have no control, yet are fully immersed in relationship to these core values. Pluto doesn’t allow things to go unnoticed, He pulls everything up by the roots, and Jupiter assists! He expands Pluto’s reach, giving him the authority to dive into the ways He has restricted Himself + others. He asks Pluto to clean the Karma of Self-Reliance, giving Him the old paradigms that kept others suppressed or limited in their expansion. This transit does not allow us to go backwards. We will not be returning to the systems that are dying, instead, we are rebuilding.

As the Sun + Moon squares this conjunction, we begin to understand how powerful this conjunction is being experienced in our own lives. We begin to realize how we may have participated in these systems or how they have imposed restrictions upon us. We are coming to understand that even though this is generational and we cannot stop it, we can dream the New Systems into existence. We can change our Minds + Hearts to adopt paradigms that nurture + care all people - no matter their status. We can choose to see beyond the physical limitations of life, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable + raw, facing the shadows in which kept us bound to these systems. We can take our sovereignty back with this Full Moon - all we need to do is shed + let go of the things that kept us bound to the external authorities.

Whatever we decide to release + adopt this Full Moon will be solidified by Saturn trine Venus and Mars square Uranus. As Venus as the ruler of the Moon, there will be a level of commitment that takes place to anything brought up within the emotional awareness. Venus is in it for the long haul, ready + willing to make the changes necessary. With Mars as the ruler of the Sun, there will be the desire to break free of the limitations imposed on the Self. Through balancing the Full Moon energies, we will be able to discover the ways in which we can transform ourselves from the inside out, for the Highest + Best as an individual and as a collective. We must be ready to shed in order to rebirth.

I know that you have all the power you need to transform.

I know that you are strong + brave.

I hope you see this too.

The light in me honors the light in you

Namaste.

~ Iris Rose Moon

Astral Check In

Hello, Star Child,

It is a pleasure to meet you here today. How are you feeling? Do you need a minute to settle in? Take a breath - allow yourself some space to come back into your body - use your breath to connect. Do you feel your Heart beating? Do you feel the rise and fall of your chest? Good - continue breathing - and remember that you can come back to your Breath anytime you wish.

Today I am going to take you on a journey through the Cosmos. I am your storyteller + guide through these interesting times. I know that many of us are feeling triggered, frustrated, sad, overwhelmed, and even possibly doomed. Today I hope to shed some Light, give you some insight on the Cosmology of our Current State. I am here to give you some Astro Wisdom, in hopes that you will discover things that make sense + spark intrigue in you. Let’s get started, shall we?

First and foremost, let’s talk about the Saturn/Pluto conjunction we had on January 12, 2020:

Saturn is the Lord of Karma - He is the one who sets the boundaries, structures our existence, limits our expression, and places values to traditions + rules. He natural presides over Capricorn + Aquarius
Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld - He is responsible for death + rebirth, creating crisis for transformation, and destroying things that are in the way of our evolution. His happy place is in Scorpio.
Saturn + Pluto meet every 36 years, thus causing death to old structures & systems in whatever planetary archetypes they meet in:

Saturn + Pluto met at 0° Cancer in July 1914, just weeks before WWI broke out.
Saturn + Pluto met at 13° Leo in August 1946, two months before the Cold War began.
Saturn + Pluto met at 27° Libra in November 1982, briefly before the worldwide economic recession ended.

The last time Saturn + Pluto met in Capricorn was in 1518, when Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses exposing and attacking church corruption in Germany and King Henry VIII left Rome, thus restructuring Europe.
The last time Saturn + Pluto + Jupiter met in Capricorn was in 1284 - when the Silk Road was being utilized for trade + expansion, cities such as Paris + London were being unified, and the development of banking and coinage were beginning.

All astrologers held their breath on the weekend of the Saturn/Pluto conjunction, as the weekend was jam-packed with other juicy astrology movement. We had a lunar eclipse, which is thought to be unlucky or heavy karma by the Indegenous, and we had Uranus, the Great Liberator, stationed direct in Taurus. Whatever Saturn/Pluto had decided to do together on that fateful day, we knew that we were about to feel it directly as individuals and as a collective, and we knew that this was the beginning of the end of many of our structures + systems placed on us back through the times they met in Capricorn.

The way I see it, is that we will be tackling the industrialization of society in 1284. At the time, we had the Lunar Nodes of Fate + Destiny in the Capricorn/Cancer axis, as we do now, however the North Node was in Capricorn, indicating that we industrialize, structure, and regulate our physical reality. Right now, we have the South Node in Capricorn, indicating that we are facing the karmic blow out of the industrialized society we have created, facing the consequences of creating a world that focused too much on the capitalization of natural resources + human labor, and examining the ways in which the bourgeois hold power in an ungodly way. This is what I consider the patriarchy, or the imbalanced masculine. With the North Node in Cancer, our collective focus is now on nurturing ourselves + others, creating community through radical softness + love, adopting + implementing the wisdom of the Divine Feminine. Our focus is to understand how the systems created for us did not allow room for us to express our true, infinite, loving nature.

The Saturn/Pluto conjunction brought one major thing to the surface - coronavirus. By February 4, two dozen countries reported having 195 cases, merely weeks after Saturn/Pluto came together. You see, when these two come together, one of two things can happen - either Saturn can restrict Pluto’s need for death + rebirth, or Pluto can destroy Saturn’s structures + systems. On a personal level, we have the freewill to choose how it may play out, but as a collective, we are the observers.

From my observational eye, we are all observing the reality of the government + institutions that were placed on us by our forefathers. We didn’t make the rules in this life, someone else did; we are simply participants. We are watching as our elected officials fight + bicker over what to do next, how much money to give to who, and how we may help the doctors + nurses who are running out of equipment. We are starting to understand the efficacy of the system. We are starting to see just how much time we missed by commuting, working long hours, and giving into bosses who might not be there for us at this time. We are starting to understand how many hours truly lie in a day and how it feels to be with yourself, without the need to leave for anything other than the essentials. We are starting to realize our reliance on convenience items like farm stands, toilet paper, maybe even take out. The structures (Capricorn) we had created for us are being shaken up (Pluto) and will potentially never be the same.

On March 22nd, Saturn moved into Aquarius, where He is giving us a taste of what 2021 will bring. Saturn co-rules Aquarius with Uranus, so we can come to understand Aquarius as the revolutionary. Aquarius still likes to have things logistically in order, but will often find itself being the “outcast,” simply because it likes to be different from others, to teach humanitarianism through individualism. Aquarius is the The Water Bearer, but don’t let that fool you, Aquarius is fixed air. The Water it bears is information, wisdom to enlighten + awaken others, ideologies on how we can create a more fair system. Aquarius likes to innovate, advance technologically, and believes in Higher Wisdom. Observe the movements that are coming together in order to unify the consciousnesses through technology + meditation. This is our work now.

Mars, our Lord of War + Passion/Aggression + Drive, moved into Aquarius on the evening of March 30th. Here, he is in pedigree, or a neutral position. Over the next 40 days, we might find ourselves being driven to connect + advance with those around us. While we have limitations on how we can see people, we can come to understand that we are always connected through our own Spirit, meaning we can feel the rise + fall of our Brothers + Sisters in our consciousnesses, and we can find ways to connect to each other through technology or other means.

Saturn/Mars conjoined on March 30th, thus starting a new 2 year period. Mars brought the flame to Saturn, who’s work right now is to figure out how He can recreate the structures + systems that will best support + uplift our ascending society. As humans, our consciousnesses are rising, meaning we are starting to understand that there is more to the world than the physical limitations imposed on our reality starting in 1284. Saturn is here gaining ideas and wisdom, so when he regresses into Capricorn in May, He will be ready to finish exposing flaws in the system. Through his exposee, we can finally finish up addressing the ways the broken system has marked our own consciousness. Saturn is voicing all His opinions to Mars now, giving Him the wisdom He needs in order to move forward into His fight.

As individuals in a collective, I see the Mars/Saturn conjunction as the beginning of the end of silent acceptance. This is the beginning of the shift into a New Earth, a new reality for all of us. Now that all of us on the globe have experienced collective trauma, we will no longer allow external authority figures to impose regulations + systems that make no sense or suppress our infinite nature. Instead, we are ready to start calling our power back in. We are ready to stand up. We are ready + willing to fight for a better world for all of us, because so many of us now know what it is like to be in the dark.

This is a social revolution. This is a political revolution. This is a financial revolution. We are being aligned with our HEARTS, our HIGHEST SELVES, our BROTHERS + SISTERS, in order to shift humanity in a way that will allow compassion, nurturing, and evolution for each and every one of us. Follow your spark. Revolutionize yourself from the inside out. Remember to be gentle as the old paradigms begin to crumble, the magnitude of this shift is not to be downplayed. Remember that what lies on the other side is even better than what we are leaving now. You are infinite + divine. The time to be liberated is now.

The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste.

~ Iris Moon

One Day at a time

Dear Ones,

We are thinking of you, of our global human family stepping into each day with your joys, fears and hopes.

The unknown is always there, in each moment always but many of us are experiencing this uncertainty as a reality instead of a philosophical concept these days.

We are missing physical touch, hugs, connection with friends, conversations with strangers. We are worried for loved ones and feel compassion for those who are ill or experiencing financial hardship and uncertainty.

We are spending more time connecting with others in front of a screen, or reading the news, hoping to gain some semblance of control over the uncontrollable.

I invite you to be gentle with yourself, acknowledging you are doing the best you can and that there is no right way to live through times like these. This is new for all of us.

Each moment, each day brings its own experience. My mantra lately is "one day at a time." When I notice my mind racing, I say it again "one day at a time."

As Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, remind yourself: "breathing in, I know I am breathing in, breathing out, I know I am breathing out." A simple yet transformative practice.

I have been finding solace and sweetness in the moments of connection and simple joy. Watching the spring flowers bloom, hearing the sound of my daughters laughing, swirling quinoa in a pot and marveling at the beautiful patterns created. I have learned about slowing down, I have learned that there is much to be present to and attended to on the inside, that the drive to focus outwards is a postponing of the healing that arises from diving deeper and deeper into the unexplored corners of my heart and psyche.

May you stay healthy and inspired.
May you be kind to yourself and others.

With love,
Nina

There is still beauty in the dark

What’s on my mind? Sooo much ... toooo much

TMI happening here - be warned.

As some of you know the past couple months, my life, as it often does flipped itself upside down.. It’s been a rather long run of interesting and slightly annoying events intermixed with an emotion that I haven’t felt in quite sometime: RAGE!

Back story - a year ago I was told from what most of you deem a beloved “free clinic” that I had a high grade strain of precancerous cells on my cervix. They in turn prescribed a procedure to prevent the stated inevitable cervical cancer. Being me, skeptical and obviously uninsured I opted to NOT jump into getting this “minimally invasive” thing done where they scrape and chop my cervix... thanks, NO THANKS!

Months later after a biopsy that was said to be near painless, but effected me for weeks, I was still having episodes of abdominal pain. I had started attributing my discomfort to said diagnosis...It began to fill up my head space with the idea that I probably was in the stage of developing cancer. I had a layer of understated worry that I needed to finally figure out how I was going to do that.

I spoke with planned parenthood... they told me to venture into a city that makes my skin crawl and for just six hundred some odd dollars they’d do said procedure. To me this translated to: you give us money and we will gladly hurt you.... right or wrong the way I was spoken to in the phone as well as subsequent reflection there wasn’t a shot in hell I was going there!

Flash forward to January, I ended up in the emergency room with debilitating pain - pain that invoked a numbness that reduced me to tears and a trembling weak physical body. To a fault, I pride myself in having a high pain tolerance and when I reach a threshold my body actually shuts down the sensors so I can’t feel anything. When that happens and I start producing tears with seemingly no symptoms... that is my “oh fuck” moment.

I was put through the most torturous ultra sound that very literally knocked the wind out of me and made to wait while the results were sent out. I was bleeding and annoyed at peoples general lack of compassion. I was later sent home with antibiotics, told the blood just looked like it was left over from my monthly cycle and a diagnosis of a possible hemorrhagic ovarian cyst. I was strongly instructed though to follow up with a doctor the next day.

Being still uninsured at that point and frustrated with our system it took me the entire morning to find a doctor to see me. The universe, I will say, is always kind to me and directs me to exactly where I need to be. I ended up at Dover Women’s health where I was seen by a surgeon. The Dr. was furious they sent me home and apologized as she redid my ultrasound because the hospital images were so poorly done. After a brief ultrasound she confirmed what she thought and booked me for emergency surgery-I was to meet her at the local hospital immediately.

My left Fallopian tube had swelled to 10x it’s normal size wrapped completely around my ovary and had ruptured. I also had 3 hemorrhaging cysts on the suffocated ovary. I had been internally bleeding for quite sometime. Which explained the burning sensations I would often get- it was explained to me that when you are internally bleeding it’s like battery acid on your insides... fun.

My wonderful new doctor did what she could in the operating room but also came across a the fact that I was riddled with endometriosis. I was taken out of an emergency situation, but more surgery was needed and a possible recommendation for a hysterectomy was briefly mentioned.

I was sent home same day for recovery. Four days of opiate pain meds and a endless supply of ibuprofen 800s. I have such a hard time with pills... they mess with my natural chemical composition and combo that with weeks of not being able to practice Yoga or any physical activity in the way I was used and my patience, tolerance and general demeanor shifted more than I like to admit.

I was 3 weeks post op dealing with my intolerable mental state and medical paperwork. I was trying to maintain my overall well being and failing at it pretty epically when I received the notice that I needed to fill out 12 months worth of self employment worksheets or complete my self employment taxes for 2019 in 4 days or I would be disqualified for coverage. Needless to say I lost my mind. I hadn’t felt that amount of upset for years. It was like a caged Tiger being let out of captivity and their captor standing in front of her with a shot gun. Furious and eager to rip the throat out of the one who had destroyed her life, but would risk her life if she attacked. That feeling lingered for days....

I pulled it together successfully completed my taxes and went back and forth to the degrading office that is the Rochester health and human services until I finally was approved for health care this past week. The sweet relief of being done at least for this year was a little bit of a reprieve, but I string reminder on why I’m not political - I can’t handle the injustice and can’t keep my shit together about it!

In the midst of this, I picked up my health records from the “free (not free) clinic” and was going to drop them off to my surgeon for my next surgery. If I did indeed also need the procedure for my cervix she would do it while I was already under. I flipped through to see my biopsy result - low grade abnormality - suggested B complex for immune support. I once again went into RAGE! For a solid year I was called and harassed to get an UNNECESSARY procedure and was refused a follow up exam to see if it was “still necessary”. The fear tactics they used are insane!

I got my results Friday from my latest test - no cervix abnormalities. There is no need for any added procedures. Although the relief of knowing I don’t have to do more damage to my already suffering girl parts the anger of being told I would have cancer if I didn’t do what they said over and over and over again infuriated me to no end.

Our healthcare system is beyond broken it’s inhumane! How do you fight something that has a shotgun pointed at you? How do we fix something so damaged? The endless resentment, anger and hurt was festering....

In the near future I’m scheduled surgery. It’s for a more complete clean out of any left over disease and I will be tested to see if my other tube is viable...

What does that mean? Well it determines whether or not I can have children - most of you know that children has never been in my life plan. I never needed a baby to be fulfilled. However, deciding not to have children and being told you can’t have them are two completely different things so as I gain my bearings back on my mental balance I have an under lying layer of biological upset.

Finally add in the mix the Yogi Bhajan scandal and the witnessing of my community ripping each other apart for having different opinions. The allegations themselves didn’t hurt me as much as it did to see the deterioration of people’s faith. We are all human.

As I watched my duality, and that of everyone - I was reminded that we live on a polarity planet and with great healing comes great pain and with great pain comes great healing.

This is only a reminder to be kind. This is a reminder to listen... sometimes the greatest gift you can give them is an ear - advice isn’t always helpful or wanted. Listening is so powerful! Practice it - because when you need it, you’ll want a accomplished listener.

It is also my deepest gratitude to those who stood by impossible attitude these past months. I am human and as much as I strive to be my best human, I fall too and need a hand.

My sincere apologies for all who are hurting, for ANY reason and that you are not alone, your emotions are valid and you deserve peace.

Like it or or hate it, life goes one and there is still beauty in the dark.
Feel everything because when you do it goes, when you push it down that’s when it becomes unmanageable. All pain brings wisdom.

Why the need to share?? .... just because.

By Jennifer Mercier--aka Ong Kar Dev, incredible woman and human.

The Tantric Necklace Whisperer

There’s something so magical and mysterious about the Tantric Necklace.

I had said I would never try to describe it, but yet here I am. There is a unique story that goes along with each and every necklace that finds its owner from our booth, here are a couple that stand out to me.

Before we get into that let’s back up a bit and talk about our designer Sat Bachan.

She is first and foremost the creator of the original Tantric Necklace, and also one of the most delightful women you will ever meet. She is a devotee of the Sikh faith and an accomplished practitioner of Kundalini Yoga. She and her husband, Hari Jiwan live in Española, New Mexico, not far from our beloved Ram Das Puri, where we gather every summer solstice to celebrate in community and deep practice.

A funny phenomenon has started to happen now that I share these necklaces for Sat Bachan. I’ve been dubbed the Tantric Necklace whisperer. As amusing as I find this title, I suppose it is fitting.

As a potential owner walks into our booth the necklace with the most potent energy for the person will jump at me. Sometimes this energy is so strong that if the person doesn't take the necklace home with them, I get hit with a voltage of energy that is not exactly comfortable. I’ve always been sensitive to stones and energy, but I hadn't realized how much until this started to happen.

Two years ago, at Summer Solstice, I started helping out with the Sage Moon booth. It’s no coincidence that one of the first items I sold was a Tantric Necklace. I had personally experienced purchasing one of Sat Bachan‘s necklaces at a previous 3HO Solstice event. I happened to know the woman representing Sat Bachan that year and she was kind enough to allow me to wear the necklace during our White Tantric Yoga Course without requiring me to actually purchase it.

Knowing how expensive these elegant necklaces were, and being completely out of my price range, as well as out of my comfort zone, I thought there was no way I was going home with this necklace. After three days of Tantric Yoga, the added energy I experienced, and the deep reluctance I felt when taking the necklace off resulted in me going home with my black and white pearl Tantric Necklace. It was worth every penny. Since my own transformative experience I have been a believer.

Sat Nam Fest East was our second festival and my first time running solo. I actually was somewhat reluctant to bring the Tantric Necklaces when creating our inventory list. The thought crossed my mind that it was the wrong crowd for this item as there wasn't any white tantric meditation during the event. I was so very wrong.

The necklaces don’t discriminate against how long you have been practicing or if you know what White Tantric Yoga is. There were several new practitioners who sensed the power of the Tantric Necklace.

One of my fondest moments was finding a necklace for a slightly older woman who walked into the booth. She was immediately drawn to the display of necklaces in the back corner. She asked about them, and I gave her the history and told her why I personally love them. She asked how she should pick one and I said one that calls to you; put aside your typical taste and choose. She hesitated, then asked if I could feel which one was right. I scanned the vast amount of options and there was one that had a palpable energy in comparison to the others. I careful retrieved it for her and when she put it on the energy was so overwhelming she instantly had a release of tears. I remember the shivers up and down my spine and the hair standing up on my arms. That was the moment I figured out how I could identify the right necklace for the person in front of me. The hairs still stand up on my arms and the chills are undeniable.

There have been so many magical moments that I couldn’t possibly relay them all here but there is one more I want to share with you from this past Winter Solstice Sadhana Celebration.

A young gentleman came in looking for a necklace. He didn’t speak to me at first and proceeded to try on several necklaces seemingly getting discouraged with each one. I watched kind of giggling to myself as he avoided the one that was calling his name. He eventually turned to me and said "I guess today isn’t the day". As he began to leave the booth I pointed to the one that was making itself known to me and said "why don’t you try this one?". He paused, looking quite perplexed and asked, “Really?” He had a moment of hesitation because it wasn’t in line with his aesthetic taste.

This I find quite typical in the Tantric Necklace game. People always go for the ones that they like the look of, not the ones that will elevate them the most.
When he put it on we both instantly felt a wave of heat. A heat wave rush like I had never felt before. He stood there for a while completely overwhelmed by the sensations and seeming somewhat baffled. He didn’t know what to make of what just happened so he decided to put the necklace down and said he needed to think about it.

As he left the booth, I smiled and said it would be here for him. Once he left the heat didn’t go away! It was so overwhelming for me that I had to take my sweatshirt off. I walked around talking to all my neighboring vendors questioning the weather.

"Did it all of a sudden get hot?" It had been cold most of the day. They all looked at me oddly and confirmed it was still cold and that I was likely crazy. He came back less than 10 minutes later for his necklace, much to my delight because I was still sweating. It turns out, the sensation had not gone away for him either and it was almost as if it was calling him back.

As soon as he put the necklace back on, and stated that it was in fact going to be his, I was relieved to get my typical wave of chills and have my body temperature re-regulate. For him the intensity stayed strong which I find very normal for a new Tantric necklace experience.

These are just a snap shot of many memorable moments in time. It is my honor and pleasure to be able to share these precious Yogic tools with our community. I am blessed to be the Tantric Necklace Whisperer.
Curious? Find me at your local Kundalini Yoga Festival or perhaps a KYTT near you!

Our next scheduled festival is Sat Nam Fest West - Come join us!!

Browse our Tantric Necklace selection here.

To stay up to date with everywhere we will be follow us on Facebook or Instagram @sagemoonliving

--Jenn Mercier aka Ong Kar Dev

A Yogini's Dream

One of my mentors asked me last week why I do what I do. What legacy do I want to leave behind?

I had to dig deep and what I found was this:

I believe that to bring peace to the world, we must start with healing ourselves. To heal the pain out there, we must heal the pain inside.

To soothe the hunger and the anger we witness on the outside, we must look within and listen to the voices of our ancestry. Our healing is a life-long journey. We cannot escape it and the more we run away, the more uncomfortable we feel.

Every time we dive into the darkest places of our psyche, we emerge radiant and more whole.

I believe that we are born into a story that is already being told and has been told over many generations. I believe we have to untangle the threads that keep us bound to this story and allow our wounds to become our greatest teachers.

I believe that if we don't do this work, we act and live from our unconscious self and do not experience the joy that is our birthright and the magic of being alive.

The more of us do this work, the better we feel and the more peace and healing we can share with others.

For many of you reading this, Kundalini Yoga has provided a powerful way to unravel these threads and to heal. There are many paths, all sacred and important. There is no one way. I bow and honor all lineages.

It is for you brave seekers that I have created Sage Moon, to offer items that inspire you to go further in this journey, that give you the radiance, grace and courage to dig deeper, so that you can shine more light for yourself and others.

By healing yourself, you are healing the world.

Keep going! I'm cheering for you.

--Nina

January 10th 2020 Full Moon Eclipse. Listen.

This extremely dynamic eclipse activates the six planets in Capricorn by opposition. The pull-down on the existing structures will be very strong and it will rock the ship we're on, high winds of change are here.

There is one beautiful and very discrete presence, a feminine presence that will stand right by Saturne to face the Full Moon at 20˚ Cancer.

Meet Chariklo, a small asteroid with beautiful rings. She is the one who has the antidote. It is said that Chiron, the wounded healer had to find an antidote to his own poisoned arrows before he could send healing ones. Chariklo is Chiron's wife. Meaning the meeting of the sickness and the healing. This feminine power heals by her presence alone. She is grace and elegance. She will stand along with Saturne through the conjunction with Pluto and the passage into Aquarius, the future.

She observes with the knowledge that all heals and she stands firm, not disturbed nor surprised by the suffering as the wound opens.

Do not be surprised, We have known that leaders will fall, and we know that all that needs to go will fall with them. No alarms, no surprises. We now have the knowledge to sail through a Universe way bigger than any ocean and it is inside each one of us.

Take good care, rest, appreciate who you are and reach out to your full potential for peace ...

Silence..... be the antidote.

By Shant Joti, astrologer, kundalini yoga teacher and wise woman.
https://www.shantjoti.com

Imperfectly perfect

I was fuming. I felt embarrassed for staying so long and failing to "drop her off". I felt angry because I had plans but the most uncomfortable feeling was the pit in my stomach. I felt self-judgment. Was I being a good mother in this moment? Or was I creating a pattern that would cost me. Was this the right thing to do?

Nina's Weekly Finds

Hi Everyone,

Here are 3 things that opened my heart, mind and soul this week.

This video about Family Constellations. If you haven't heard of or experienced family constellations, I highly recommend it!
Each family is a field of energy and everyone in the family needs a place. When a member is pushed out, un-recognized or shunned, it creates an imbalance. Someone in the family will identify with them and repeat the pattern in order to heal it.
Favorite quote by Bert Hellinger, founder of family constellations: "We are all born into a common soul, into a spiritual field that we share with the members of our family. This soul reaches beyond our body and ties us deeply with all who belong to this soul."

Finished reading The Heart of the Shaman by Alberto Villoldo.
This book focuses on the dreaming and time-travel practices of the medicine men and women of the Andes and Amazon. Villoldo shares some of their time-honored teachings that emphasize the sacred dream: an ephemeral, yet powerful vision that has the potential to guide us to our purpose and show us our place in the universe. He helps us identify the 3 nightmares we live in, scarcity, safety and conditional love and break free of these to dream our world into being.
Favorite quote: "Find what is most difficult for you to love and love it."

This video with Demi Moore and her daughters, openly sharing with each other their hurts and vulnerability, without shaming, blaming or judging each other. Also a powerful portrayal of family constellations and how patterns repeat until healed.
Favorite moment: When her older daughter says that even though her mother would tell her often "I love you", she could not feel it or believe she was lovable because her mother did not love herself.

Please share what blew your mind, opened your heart and moved you this week!

Love to you all,

Nina

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